


Lost Without You

by princesskay



Category: Tokio Hotel
Genre: Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, PWP, Twincest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-23
Updated: 2014-01-23
Packaged: 2018-01-09 17:29:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1148837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princesskay/pseuds/princesskay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a long hiatus from their sexual relationship, a fight brings the twins back to the same bed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost Without You

Georg and Gustav were seriously worried, but Tom knew exactly where he would find his brother. While their two other bandmates searched the house and made phone calls, Tom slipped out the back door and started across the yard. He stared at his sneakers as they trampled across the finely trimmed grass that covered all the other L.A. yards. He could feel his phone vibrating in his pocket, but he didn't pull it out. It was probably just Georg or Gustav wondering where the other twin had disappeared to.  
It only took him a minute to reach the aged maple tree on the edge of the property. Grass grew high around the base, but there was a worn down path leading to the lowest branch. Tom walked across the path and stopped at the trunk, tilting his head upward.  
“Billa?” He called, “Are you up there?”  
There was no answer, but some of the leaves rattled. Tom squinted upward and moved around the base of the tree, searching the thick foliage for the slender figure he knew was hiding up there.  
“Please come down.” He tried again, leaning against the rough trunk of the tree, “It can't be that bad.”  
“Why don't you just leave me alone?” Bill replied, his voice sounding hurt and tear-filled.  
“Because, I'm your brother and I care about you.”  
“Well, I want to be left alone right now. So you can go tell Georg and Gustav that you don't know where I went.”  
“I won't tell them anything. We can just talk. . .Just you and me.”  
“I don't want to talk.”  
“Billa, please. Don't do this. At least come down so I can see your face.”  
There was a moment of silence before the branches creaked and Bill descended a few branches down from his lofty perch. His eyes were red and his thick, black make up was streaked down his pale cheeks. He had been sobbing like a baby. Tom sighed, feeling a pang of guilt. This was his fault.  
“What?” Bill asked, impatiently.  
“I'm sorry.”  
“Sure. You and the guys thought it was funny.”  
“No I didn't. I'm serious. I didn't mean for it to go so badly.”  
“Go away.” Bill muttered, looking away, toward the horizon.  
“It's going to be dark soon.” Tom insisted, “You can't stay out here all night.”  
“I could.”  
“Look, I'm gonna climb up this goddman tree and carry you back down.”  
“Go ahead and try.”  
Tom stared up at his little brother in disbelief. He really wasn't going to come down. Bill could be a stubborn little fucker when he wanted to be, but Tom usually possessed the magic touch. This time, Bill was clinging to the tree like a frightened kitten.  
“I've had bad dates, too.” Tom said, trying to sympathize.  
“I'm sure yours were streamed directly to YouTube for the whole world to see.” Bill replied, angrily, “You humiliated me, okay? And I just want you to go away.”  
“You agreed to it!” Tom held up his hands, “None of us thought she would be such a bitch. It's called a blind date for a reason. You don't know how its going to turn out.”  
“I think it goes without saying, I don't want you to set up another one for me anytime soon.” Bill replied, crossing his arms across his chest, “I'll find the 'perfect girl' by myself.”  
“Okay, I promise I won't. . . Can you just please come down now?”  
“No.”  
“I can't leave you out here.”  
“You could.”  
“But I won't.”  
“If you come up here and try to get me down I'll break both our necks in the fall.” Bill reached up to grab a branch above his head. He pulled himself to his feet and began to climb higher again, “Go away.”  
Tom threw his hands up as the image of his brother disappeared into the leaves. Bill was really going to make Tom leave him out here. It was crazy, but he was right. If Tom tried to force him out of the tree, they could both get hurt. Better to just let him cool off.  
“Okay, fine.” Tom called up to the tree, “But I'm leaving the back door unlocked for you if you decide to stop being stubborn and come inside.”  
He turned and walked back toward the house, fuming. He had apologized. More than once. Bill was still being stubborn and refusing to come down. Well, he could come back inside, but he wasn't climbing in bed with Tom when he did. Tom would make sure of it. 

~

Bill sat in the tree until his tears dried completely, and his ass started hurting. With all his heart, he wanted to stay here all night and prove to Tom that he meant it. His aching body, and his aching heart, however, wouldn't allow him to keep his promise. Soon after the sun went down, he made his way down from the tree, sniffing quietly.  
He had had enough of reliving the most humiliating moment of his life, and in his heart, he knew Tom had been sincere in his apology. None of them had expected what the blind date had dished out. Not even Tom, who was well-versed in women.  
Bill walked across the dark yard, jumping at shadows and shivering against the breeze that was staring to blow in coldly. By the time he reached the back door, he was shaking and back to the edge of tears again. He grabbed the handle of the sliding glass door and pulled, discovering that Tom had kept his promise to leave it open. Sliding inside, he pressed the door closed again and took a moment to relish the warmth of the house.  
Everything was quiet as he tip-toed up the stairs to Tom's bedroom. He knew Tom was probably already asleep in bed, but he felt like he needed to apologize. . . .and find some comfort. He knew that no matter what happened between them, there was nothing that would ever be unforgivable. He would apologize and so would Tom. And then maybe they would forget about the girl and. . .Bill could only hope.  
He eased the door open and stepped inside. Light from the moon slid across the big bed where Tom's slumbering form lay. His broad, muscular chest glowed under the pewter illumination, giving him him an ethereal aura. Bill swallowed hard and advanced toward the bed. Tom continued to sleep even as he approached.  
Bill slowly reached down and unbuckled his belt. He quickly slid out of his jeans and his shirt and grabbed the edge of the covers. Sliding into the bed next to Tom, he reached out and touched his brother's shoulder.  
“Tomi.” Bill whispered, shaking Tom, “Tomi, I'm sorry. Please wake up.”  
Tom stirred in his sleep, but didn't acknowledge Bill's presence.  
“Tomi.” Bill repeated, his voice louder and more insistent, “Tomi, please. I need you.”  
He curled up next to Tom, burying his face in the warmth of his brother's neck and pressing their bodies close together.  
Tom awakened this time, a groan rising from his lips as he opened his eyes, “What?”  
“Its me.” Bill lifted his head, “I'm glad you left the door open.”  
“What are you doing?” Tom lifted his head from his pillow, his eyes bleary from sleep.  
“I'm cold.” Bill whispered, grasping at the sheets to pull them over their bodies.  
“Then go get in your own goddamn bed.” Tom grumbled.  
“But. . .but, I'm sorry. . .”  
Tom growled, “You are such a brat, Bill. Get out of my bed.”  
“I'm serious. Please.” Bill cried, wrapping his arms around Tom. He began to cry again, his hot tears falling down his cheeks and spilling across Tom's chest.  
Tom gave a disbelieving moan and stopped trying to push Bill off.  
“Okay, fine!” He held up his hands, “You can sleep in here, but just for tonight.”  
Bill sniffed back tears and lifted a hand to dry his eyes, “Does that mean we're even. . .both forgiven and everything?”  
“Yes.” Tom replied, tersely, “I can't stay mad at my little brother.”  
Bill snuggled closer, “Good. I hoped you would say that.”  
They lay in silence for several minutes, Tom's hand moving in a soothing, circular motion across Bill's back, before Tom started to speak again, “I really am sorry about what happened.”  
“I know. I was just upset.” Bill replied, quietly, “I just wanted to be normal for once, you know.”  
“You are normal.” Tom replied, reaching up to stroke his head, “You're perfectly fine the way you are.”  
“I know, but I have this persona that I have to keep up. I feel like I'm living in a bubble sometimes.” Bill sighed, rolling onto his back and reaching down to hold Tom's hand, “Just you, me, Georg, and Gustav. Tokio Hotel. No one else.”  
“Is that so bad?” Tom asked, looking over at Bill's pensive profile.  
Bill shrugged, “If I have you, I suppose I shouldn't complain.”  
“That's more like it.” Tom smiled and leaned over to kiss Bill's cheek, “Who cares about girls, right? There's plenty running around out there. I'm sure you'll find the right one in time.”  
Bill smiled, softly, “Yeah. Who cares about the bitches anyway?”  
They chuckled quietly in the dark, their laughter mirroring each others.  
They fell into silence after a few moments, their arms tightly holding each other, their eyes staring into the darkness. Inside, Bill's heart was beating a strange, muffled rhythm. He could sense the tension between them, but Tom was balking. Had it always been this way when they were younger? Had Bill always been the instigator, or was it Tom that had backed Bill into dark corners where no one could see?  
Bill couldn't quite remember. At first, it had been rare occasions, times they had given in when they could take it no longer, or had been drinking. Then, as they grew more comfortable with the idea, they began giving in more and more often. At last, Bill had lost track of all the times they had committed one of the most taboo acts known to man.  
At one point, they had sat down for a long conversation on the topic, basically agreeing to “see other people.” The pact had now lasted for only three short months. The sensibility of the agreement suddenly seemed quite minimal when it was lost in the monsoon of anger, hurt, the desperate need for love.  
Bill glanced up at Tom. His eyes had adjusted to the dark and he could make out the profile of his brother's smooth, handsome face. God, he looked so beckoning. Bill wanted very badly to roll over and kiss Tom, do the deed all over again and forget about their agreement. His cock was starting to grow to an erection that couldn't be hidden when he was wearing only his boxers and the sheets.  
Finally, Tom looked down at him. There was a long, intense silence between them as they gazed into each other's eyes. Bill could sense the thoughts that were racing through Tom's head. The logical reasoning, the questions, the want. . . It wasn't until their lips met in a rush of desire and adrenalin that Bill knew which side would always win.  
Tom rolled over and pushed himself up onto his elbow, pressing Bill's back against the mattress. Bill compliantly leaned back and eagerly lifted his mouth to the kiss. The clean, sweet taste of Tom's mouth rushed across his tongue like a warm, intoxicating drink, causing his senses to explode. Heat immediately poured down his body, and his core began to throb with desire. Every sensation that Tom knew how to coax from Bill's body rushed upon him at once.  
Tom pulled his lips away, panting hard, “We said. . .we said we wouldn't. . .”  
“I know.” Bill groaned, his fingers sinking into Tom's hair, “But. . .but just once. . .it couldn't hurt. . .”  
“It won't hurt at all.” Tom replied, reaching down to grasp Bill's buttock through his shorts.  
“Please, I want you.” Bill replied in a moan, arching his hips against Tom's.  
Tom sat up, throwing the sheets back from their bodies, almost over the end of the bed. He shifted to his knees and grabbed at Bill's shorts. He yanked the material down away from Bill's aching manhood and threw the boxers across the room. His wide, dark eyes moved up and down Bill's quivering body, gratefully taking it in after the three month fast.  
“Oh my God, I don't know what to do to you first.” He whispered, leaning over Bill and cradling his cheek, “I want it all.”  
“Then just. ..just touch me.” Bill murmured, tilting his head back as Tom's fingernails scraped down over his neck, “Anywhere. . . .everywhere. . .I just need it so bad.”  
Tom's other hand moved down Bill's chest to his side and stayed there, firm and heavy, as his mouth descended to Bill's nipple. Bill arched immediately when Tom's soft, moist lips took the sensitive flesh, sucking gently.  
“Oooh,” Bill groaned, arching from the mattress.  
Tom's mouth pulled away from his nipple and he breathed hotly over the flesh, “That's it.” He whispered, “Tell me.”  
He grabbed at Bill's nipple ring with his teeth, tugging over and over until Bill cried out. When Bill was writhing and moaning, he let go and softly kissed the inflamed flesh, “Ooh, I'm sorry. Did that hurt?”  
Bill gasped in a breath, staring hard at the ceiling, “Yes. ..” He murmured, “Make it better.”  
Tom growled wantonly, low in his throat and began to lick at the tortured nipple. He drew his tongue tenderly over the hard skin and sucked softly, erasing the remnants of pain.  
“Does that feel good?” He whispered, looking up at Bill's expression of ecstasy.  
Bill nodded, “Yes. . .yes. . .I like it.”  
“Would you like I if I made you cum right now?”  
Bill nodded more vigorously, his breathing shuddering desireously.  
“Come here.” Tom reached down to grasp Bill's throbbing erection.  
His palm was warm and firm, pumping eagerly over the hard, hot flesh. Bill's eyes rolled back in his head, and his hips began to thrust against Tom's touch, searching desperately for the release.  
He groaned quietly, holding tightly onto his brother as the pleasure roared hot and heavy through his body. He could already feel the pressure bearing down at his center, swelling his cock, making his body tight and shivering.  
“Tom, I. . .” He whispered, his throat hardly able to work, “I'm going to. . .”  
“I know. . .” Tom murmured, his hand working a hard, fast rhythm.  
“I'm going to . . .to cum. . .” Bill whimpered, “S-so fast. . .”  
“Let it.” Tom urged in his ear, his tone reassuring, nonjudgmental.  
“God. . .” Bill groaned, throwing his head back against the pillow. It felt so good, he could hardly take it, “Tom, please. . .please!” His voice grew from a quiet whine to the pitch of desperation. It was coming quickly, but not quickly enough. He wanted it now, wanted it so bad, like nothing he had ever yearned for before.  
“Harder?” Tom questioned, his dark eyes searing into Bill from above, “You want it harder?”  
“Yes, yes. . .” Bill cried, thrusting his cock into the tight embrace of Tom's hand.  
Bill, accustomed to the more delicate touch of his own hand, gasped as Tom's strong hand came down hard, chafing, rubbing, pulling. . .Jesus, Oh God, he couldn't stand it! He was right on the edge, but there the pleasure sat, just out of his reach. . .He could almost feel it, almost taste it. . .  
“Tom. . .Tom . .” Bill moaned, tossing his head back and forth against the hot pillow like a fevered patient. His whole body was seared with the heat; he could feel the sweat breaking out along his hairline and dampening his neck and chest. He was working hard, focusing as well as he could, but he felt as if he were chasing air.  
Cum. . .Cum. . Just let it happen. . .  
His body grew tighter. He could feel the tender flesh of his manhood stretching to accommodate the raging erection. He was so hard it nearly hurt. He couldn't remember the last time he had been this worked up, much less the last time he had had a gratifying orgasm.  
Tom's touch was quick and steady. He didn't falter for a second. He didn't seem to be regretting his decision to pick up where they had left off. To be honest, neither did Bill. He couldn't even think about regretting this when he was about to ever the most gratifying, breath-taking, draining orgasm in history.  
Bill could hear the wetness gathering at his head. Tom's hand squeezed up and over the tip, smearing pre-cum down the shaft. Despite the sure sign, he murmured, “How close?”  
“It's. . .It's . ..” Bill could hardly breathe. His lungs were starting to gasp for air, his body rushing in the wonderful, panicky sort of way, “C-coming. . .”  
With a strangled cry, he arched from the bed and went stiff, the shudders contained deep inside him. It exploded outward, rocking his mind and body for long, unending moments. Cum sprayed from his cock, going all over Tom's hand and chest and Bill's stomach. It just kept coming, over and over, the pleasure holding on to his desireous body for as long as it could. Tom's hand continued to massage, milking the last of the hot semen from Bill's spent manhood. The flesh slowly softened in Tom's grasp, completely drained for the moment.  
Bill collapsed against the mattress, breathing hard, “Oh. . .my. . .God. ..”  
Tom was smiled a very pleased smile. He sat back, gazing at the cum all over his hand.  
“I've never felt so. . .empty.” Bill groaned, reaching down to test the sensitivity of his cock and testicles. He quickly withdrew his hand, gasping quietly.  
“That's a good thing, isn't it?” Tom chuckled, climbing off the bed.  
“It's a wonderful thing.” Bill replied, staring at the ceiling.  
Tom found a box of kleenex and wiped his hand and chest off. He threw the box at Bill, who was still reliving the recent orgasm in his head. The box bounced off his side and landed beside him on the bed. He grabbed several kleenex and wiped down his stomach and cock.  
He sat up to throw the kleenex in the trash and looked up at Tom, “Now you?”  
Tom nodded and reached down to remove his boxers, “I wouldn't let you out of this room if you didn't return the favor.”  
“You would keep me locked in here forever?” Bill whispered as Tom stepped up in front of him.  
“Yes, forever.” Tom replied, laying hand on Bill's cheek, “I'll never let you go.”  
“I'm yours?” Bill asked, reaching out to take Tom's erect cock in his hands.  
Tom drew in a sharp breath and finished the gasp with one word, “Mine.”  
Lacing his fingers into Bill's hair, Tom pulled his twin forward. Bill's mouth compliantly fell open, taking Tom's long, hard manhood in deep. Tom nearly lost it right then and there because the feeling was so wonderful. It was almost like fucking a girl, but so much better because it was Bill's pretty mouth. Girls were bitchy and picky. They liked certain things in bed and hated others. It was all about them. But when Bill and Tom were intimate like this, everything was equal ground. No one got more, no one got less. If Bill got to cum three times in one night, so did Tom. It was unfair if he didn't. Later tonight, Tom would have to repay this blowjob to Bill. If Bill happened to swallow, Tom would have to follow suit.  
Tom started the rhythm out slow, holding onto Bill's hair to control the pace. Bill easily followed the motion, his big, brown eyes gazing intently up at Tom. He never tried to take more than Tom would give, he never tried to control the situation. He was the perfect lover.  
It had been so hard giving it up three months ago. Tom had hardly slept for the first two weeks. Adjusting to not sharing something so personal made it feel like there was a gap between them. Tom had hated it, but for a while he had really been convinced it was for the better good. Now he could see he had been completely wrong. What had possessed him?  
Bill's mouth had never felt so good, so hot and wet. . .so arousing. Tom could feel the tremble growing in his legs already. He didn't know if he could continue to stand through the rest of the blowjob. Bill was impressively good at getting Tom off like this. He had always been better at it, as if his mouth had been made for amazing things like this. Singing, laughing, blowjobs. . .his mouth was perfect.  
Tom slid his other hand into Bill's hair, on the crown of his head. Tilting Bill's head back farther, he shoved his cock in deep, feeling for the back of Bill's throat. Bill groaned, his eyes staying wide open, looking up at Tom for direction. He reached up to grab onto Tom's hip, squeezing hard. It was the only indication that Tom's sudden thrust had surprised him.  
Tom moaned aloud, thrusting his cock into Bill's mouth while keeping Bill's head at the same angle. Bill blinked hard, his cheeks growing a sexy, red color. His other hand grabbed onto Tom, both now gripping his waist hard.  
“Yes. . .” Tom breathed as the orgasm began to trickle down into his core, “Eat it all.”  
Bill moaned something that sounded like Tom's name, but Tom couldn't be sure. He just knew he liked the reaction. The pleasure was just seconds away, but he almost wished it could last longer so that he could watch Bill's face as Tom fucked his mouth hard. It was the sexiest thing he had ever seen.  
Despite Tom's rough thrusting, Bill managed to maintain his composure. He sucked as if he were in control, but stayed submissive. That pretty mouth, not Tom's wild, desperate fucking was his undoing. It always had been.  
Tom cried out, his head snapping back as the pleasure suddenly reached to greet his waiting body. It slammed into him hard, taking him down immediately. Tom sank to the ground, shuddering and groaning. Bill went with him, his mouth tight and hot over Tom's manhood. He came hard, the pent up need releasing itself in wet, hot streams into Bill's mouth. Tom writhed against the floor, losing all control of his body until the pleasure finally purged itself from him in one, final spasm.  
Bill grabbed another kleenex and spit into it. Quietly, Tom was relieved. Bill had always cornered the market when it came to blowjobs; Tom had never found it quite as appealing to be on his knees swallowing that shit.  
Bill sat down and leaned against the bed, watching Tom as he slowly caught his breath. Tom threw his hand over his eyes and let out a breath, “Wow.”  
“I know.” Bill replied, excitement clear in his tone, “Why did we ever stop, Tom?”  
“Cause, supposedly, its not normal.”  
“Fuck normal.” Bill replied, his voice maintaining its cheerful, alert quality.  
Tom smiled at how casual Bill could be about something so serious. But, then, Bill had always liked things to be about him. If they weren't, it didn't really matter to Bill. Bill liked getting his way, and he had definitely gotten his way tonight.  
Sitting up, Tom turned himself around and leaned against the bed next to Bill, “So, now what?”  
“I think. . .” Bill feigned deep thought as he reached down to touch himself, “Oh yes. . .I think I've recovered.”  
Tom's smile grew, “The day you run out of energy is the day I've misplaced my real brother.”  
Bill's eyes sparkled and he smiled sheepishly, “So. . .will you. . .again?”  
Tom hooked his thumb at the mattress, “Get back in bed.”  
They jumped up off the floor, racing each other back underneath the covers. They scrambled underneath, their hands already searching out the other's body. The question of whether they were still upset with each other was now completely gone. Tom should've known that something like a girl, much less a weak, half-hearted, no-sex pact couldn't have kept them apart. The renewal of their relationship was something like a death nell to Tom's old life, but he wasn't sad about it. He would do anything for his brother, didn't need anyone else, didn't want anyone else. This was where he belonged.


End file.
